ORDER IN OUR LIVES

 

One of the most vivid memories of my childhood was watching the way my father left his shoes next to his bed: both at the same height and in a perfect combination. I remember that this impeccable synchrony fascinated me, and that is how my love for order was born. Order was always my faithful companion because it helped me never lose my favorite books, my documents or the photos of my first love. Although in my youth order was limited to offering my family an orderly home and always finding what they were looking for, as time went by, I realized the deep meaning of the word order. Order not only provides us with an orderly archive, but also with an economy that protects us from sinister surprises.  At work, a tidy desk prevents us from wasting time looking for information we need to finish an urgent project.  However, the most important legacy of my love for order actually has to do with existence. It induced me, for instance, to review the years of my life, to identify my mistakes and try to correct them, to look for those whom I had offended and apologize, to let go those who were there only to fill lonely moments, and to remember and tell my son what I wanted him to know about my life.  Order means to rescue what is valuable and to let go what is not valuable anymore.

KARMA OR ETHICS?

 KARMA OR ETHICS?

Since I started reading books on Buddhism, I was attracted to the concept of karma because of the mystery it emanates. As per the Merriam Webster dictionary, karma has the following meaning:
“The force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence”.
In other words, the way we behave in our current life will determine what kind of life we will live in our next life, as well the number of lives we will need to live to attain Nirvana, Nirvana being the end of our spiritual journey. What happens after Nirvana, we don’t know.
The idea of karma as a vehicle to deserve a life of peace and serenity always called my attention; it seemed a perfectly natural reward for good behavior. After all, since childhood I was told that being good means getting a reward. However, as years went by and I became savvier about the meaning of existence, I realized that living ethically, and not the rewards of a better life, is what really fills our soul with peace and serenity. Living in the best possible way morally means to understand the meaning of life. But let’s not forget that living ethically is much more complicated than being a charitable and generous person, like most of us are. I believe that the term ethics has more to do with respecting others by seeing in them the soul they carry inside. It means, for instance, not lying to others, asking for forgiveness for having offended them, not making fun of them, not acting in our best interest if it will hurt them, not demeaning others so as to hurt their self-esteem, not censuring what about them we don’t understand, and of course, respecting all life and plants on the planet. When I understood this, I let go of my vision of a better life after death and started concentrating on a vision of a life well lived on this earth.

MEJOR SOLA QUE MAL ACOMPAŇADA

 

Así dice el proverbio que, al escucharlo o verlo escrito, ninguno de nosotros deja de afirmar que es profundamente cierto. Sin embargo, es necesario llegar a la tercera edad para comprender su verdadero significado. Estar en compañía de seres humanos envidiosos, mentirosos y faltos de afecto o respeto a la larga y a la corta nos llena de ira y rencor a cualquier edad, pero sobre todo cuando ya no somos tan jóvenes. Cuando somos jóvenes nos enfrentamos a la vida de otra manera; cada nuevo amanecer nos aporta diferentes opciones. Distinta es la situación cuando ya dejamos de serlo; cuando los años pasan el despertar de la mañana siguiente no nos trae demasiadas novedades, si es que nos trae alguna. Siempre fui sociable y nunca me costó hacerme de amigos, pero por alguna razón a esta edad constato que me cuesta abrirles los brazos a algunos de los que me rodean. Quizás sea porque en el país en el que vivo existe una marcada distancia entre generaciones, o quizás porque aquellos que he conocido desde que vivo sola no han sido lo que yo esperaba. Por eso a mi edad la casa deja de ser un lugar donde simplemente vivimos para convertirse en un refugio sagrado al que solo acceden unos pocos: aquellos que nos quieren de veras. Y a pesar de lo mucho que se ha escrito sobre el aislamiento que sufren los que viven solos, la soledad de nuestra casa es un bálsamo mágico que nos protege del desafecto. Cuando comprendemos esto entendemos que, a menudo, la soledad que nos rodea es la mejor compañía a la que podemos aspirar.

 

 

MAN IS A SOCIAL BEING, BUT AT HIS OWN RISK

 Man is a social being," stated Aristotle in his time, and the truth is that no one can deny it; when we are alone for a long time, our mind stops working properly, getting lost in the glimpses of madness.  That is why prisoners who are left in solitary confinement suffer from mental and physical problems, as well as from suicidal ideation.  But it's also true that our relationships with others often break us. Not only the love relationships that at the beginning make us touch the sky with our hand sometimes end up defeating us, but also the work relationships which, if we are excellent employees, provoke the competition of others.  The same goes for our friendships, especially those of middle age, when we begin to look back to see what we have achieved in life. If by any chance our life seems to be more successful than others, in our most difficult moments there will be verbal aggressions and hidden smiles coming our way.  Such is life; envy and competition transform our social life into a battlefield. I don't think I'm wrong when I say that our friends at middle-age are different from those of our adolescence. With the passage of time everything changes, even the friends we make; and the only response to this change will be, once again, adaptation. Like the Athenian philosopher stated, we will continue having friends,

but these will be a different kind of friends: with them we will not share the innermost part of our being because we know that, should we share it, it runs the risk of becoming fractured.

The happiness we receive from ourselves is greater than the happiness we obtain from our surroundings. Metrodorus (IV BC)

 

This is how this first disciple of Epicurus pronounced himself in the fourth century BC, and with such a dictum dismantled our tendency to possess money and expensive objects to fill our lives. I often think of Metrodorus while I am driving down a street in the city where I live, and I find myself surrounded by cars whose price is so high that it scares me; although what scares me the most is that surely ninety percent of those drivers complain daily about the situation of the country's economy. Even worse, I am horrified by the example we are setting for our children about what really has value in life. While I always liked to live well, luxury seems harmful instead. However, it was only with the passage of time that I realized where the true treasures of human existence are found. With age I was able to understand that the ability to live with a high degree of morality, generosity, compassion, and respect for all living

beings is what really counts. As the Epicurean philosopher said, only those who day by day, month by month, and year after year have understood that happiness does not depend on what we possess, but on what we give to others can feel at peace.

 

La felicidad que recibimos de nosotros mismos es mayor que aquella que nos llega desde afuera. Metrodorus (IV AC)

Así se pronunció este primer discípulo de Epicuro en el siglo cuarto antes de Cristo, echando por tierra con semejante dicho nuestra tendencia a desear dinero y objetos caros para llenarnos la vida. Se me ocurre pensar en Metrodorus cada vez que manejo por alguna calle de la ciudad en la que vivo, y me veo rodeada de automóviles cuyo precio es tan alto que me asusta; aunque lo que más me asusta es que seguramente el noventa por ciento de esos conductores se queja a diario de lo mal que está la economía del país. Peor aun, me horroriza el ejemplo que les estamos dando a nuestros hijos sobre lo que realmente tiene valor en esta vida. Si bien siempre me gustó vivir bien, el lujo en cambio me parece dañino; pero fue con el pasar del tiempo que fui dándome cuenta donde se encuentran los verdaderos tesoros de la existencia humana. Me refiero a la capacidad de vivir con un alto grado de moralidad, generosidad, compasión, y respeto por todos los seres vivientes. Como bien dijo el filósofo epicúreo, en la soledad de sus casas solo pueden sentirse a gusto aquellos que día a día, mes a mes, y año tras año han comprendido que la felicidad no depende de lo que poseemos, sino de lo que damos a los que comparten nuestro espacio.

 

THE LITTLE GREAT MIRACLES OF EVERYDAY LIFE

 Last Sunday, while I was on the beach with my friend Marisa, I told her that I should be more tolerant of others.

"Who are you referring to? she asked me.

-To those who cut my way in traffic, to those who do not greet others when they enter the elevator, to those who destroy water taps in the park, and to the neighbors who ignore you for being from another country. "

    "Excellent purpose," my friend replied. I hope you’ll make it."

I looked at her doubtfully; at no time did I think I could change my attitude.  It happened that in the evening, when I lowered the blind in my bedroom, the remote control stopped because the battery was discharged. Since I don't like sleeping with the blind completely down, the next day, after walking my dog, I went to the hardware store to buy new batteries. I had a hard time finding those batteries because they are not widely used; but I finally ended up in a store that had them.  I decided to buy two so as not to relive the previous day situation, and I asked for the price. When the clerk replied that they were worth six dollars each and I only had ten dollars, I told her that unfortunately I could only buy one. She looked at me with a smile and said:

"Let's see how I can arrange this sum on the computer so that, with ten dollars, you can buy two batteries."

I looked at her smiling and, as I thanked her for her gesture, I understood that someone was sending me the message that not everything around me is unpleasant.  Needless to say, from now on, accepting things as they are is not going to be as difficult as I thought.