MIS TRES AMORES

Tuve en la vida tres amores intensos,

El primero breve como vuelo de pájaro herido,

el segundo difícil como camino en el desierto,

no así el tercero, con su color de oleaje transparente,

profundidad de jungla esmeralda, nunca explorada,

con una gentil bondad desprendIéndose de su mirada.

 

Y cuando me encamine hacia comarcas desconocidas

se partirá mi alma en dos pedazos, y uno quedará

junto al que fue mi amor tercero; y así será

porque el amor profundo nunca se desvanece,

simplemente se esconde y permanece, y susurra:

“Borra tu tristeza amor mío porque aquí me quedo.”

IN THE PROCESS OF HEALING A DIVORCE, A SESSION OF CLOSURE CAN DO WONDERS

  When I was still in private practice, one of my patients, a middle-aged woman whose husband had decided to leave the marriage, seemed to be unable to overcome the breakup. Session after session she reiterated the same disappointment: “Although I knew that our marriage was going nowhere, it would have been very important for me to have a session of closure with my husband. However, he adamantly refused.” Why is it so important to attend a session of closure with our ex-partner, you may ask? If we have decided not to go to couples therapy to save our marriage, and decided instead to go our way, attending a session of closure is a sign of respect and emotional maturity that our partner deserves. Even though my patient already knew what was not working in her marriage, in order for her to close that cycle of her life she needed to know her partner’s point of view of what had gone wrong; she also needed to make sure that her partner understood the reason for some of her behaviors. Mutual appreciation for their relationship positive side was also important. Most of all, my patient would have liked to ask questions, answer questions, ask for forgiveness and forgive her partner for what needed to be forgiven. Refusing to attend a divorce session of closure only reveals a lack of courage and a tendency to live a non-examined life that leads nowhere.

Music is … A higher revelation than all Wisdom & Philosophy” ― Ludwig van Beethoven

It was by pure coincidence that one day I heard "Le vent, le cri" from Georges Lautner's Le Professionnel film score (1981), and composed by Ennio Morricone.  Although I don't usually listen to this composer’s music, the moment I got in touch with "Le vent, le cri" notes it was as if suddenly the doors of an unknown universe opened up to me. That day I remember listening to this piece over and over again, feeling transported to that place where we understand that what surrounds us is not the only reality. Those notes led me to finally understand that there are mysteries we cannot elucidate, basically because they don't belong to us.  But that doesn't mean that we can't enjoy what life has given us and share it with those around us.  It was thus that, listening to those mysterious sounds, it became clear to me that our life well-being depends purely on ourselves, and that the more careful we are the more blessed we will be.