THE SECRET OF SERENITY: IT IS WHAT IT IS

 

 I still remember the first time I heard one of my colleagues say: “It is what it is” when asked how he had finally convinced one of his patients to let go of a relationship that was no longer there. At that time, I was still a young therapist not very skilled at that kind of direct interventions; in my fear of losing patients, I was always walking on eggshells. Later, when I became more seasoned and more secure, I would try my hand at being less pleasing; gradually I became more realistic and was able to understand that, by and general, patients are able to face their fate. After so many books read on the philosophy of life, I clearly understood that there is only one way to walk the path of life with serenity: to accept that it is what it is. This paradigm is valid for all walks of life: our affections, our profession, our family of origin, and our children. This is not to say that we should blindly accept what is presented to us without even trying to change what can be changed; the thing to remember is that the changes are on us, not on reality. Let’s recall that wise saying by Spanish philosopher Ortega y Gasset:  we are us and our circumstance; in other words, the reality that is thrown at us can never be ignored. Although this is easy to say and to accept when it happens to somebody else; it is much more complex to grasp when it suddenly appears on the threshold of our life. It is then that we need to remember that life events are linked by mysterious and difficult to understand causes and effects. However, when we accept what is, suddenly everything becomes clear and there is no more room for anxiety or fear. We have understood that the universe is in charge.