CORONAVIRUS AND OUR LIFE

It is clear that Coronavirus is far from being only a physical illness; its ramifications are also mental. Being home for so many hours in solitude  inevitably  pits us against countless existential questions. For example, how have we lived the years that have already gone and which have no return? When the number of distractions available is not enough to quench our thirst to always be somewhere else, our unconscious starts showing its ugly face to claim what we deny. Like everyone else, the same thing happened to me on a beautiful but sad grey afternoon. Like in a dream a series of mistakes, of unsound choices, and poor relationships came back to mind. I remember one day several years ago when talking to my then boss, a psychiatrist with whom I had established a friendly relationship, and saying to him: "Dr. D, if I could go back in time I would do it gladly." His response was short and sweet: "Marina, you can't go back." Mine had just had been the need to put my pain into words. I already knew it is impossible to go back. And yet his intervention had been to the point since it underlined the fact that my task was not nostalgia but an honest analysis of how I had lived my life. And how did I live my life? If I made one mistake it was believing that those around us have our own same agenda. The world is nice because we're all different, my mother used to say. And yet when we run into someone who thinks like us, we have the feeling of having found a refuge in stormy night. As the years go by, we realize how dangerous the world is and how far away are others from us.  Their negative thoughts, their envy, and their own frustrations separate others from our path; it is a mistake to believe that they can reach us. Should I meet Dr. D. again, I would tell him that it's true that you can't go back. What can be done instead is to value having been honest, loyal and generous, and having opened our arms to everyone who was willing to follow us.