"LIAISON DANGEREUSES", NOT THE MOVIE

 

One of the most negative consequences of feeling lonely is not being careful about the friends we choose. The fear of feeling alone in the world is so profound that anyone who shows us some kindness is welcome into our lives. While when we have a partner, we don't feel that urgent need to surround ourselves with companions, when we break-up we risk falling into the trap of attracting dangerous relationships alongside us. Well known are the scams with photos of social platforms to defraud women, generally middle-aged and desperate for being loved again. According to the FBI, the amount of these frauds reaches millions of dollars. But I'm not talking here about these desperate cases, but of more common and close to home situations. Many of the people around us lead unhappy lives, aimlessly defined existences harassed by unfinished businesses. Not infrequently the work they do doesn't satisfy them, and neither does their marriage; others have serious problems with their children and it is almost impossible for them to disguise their ill feelings towards the whole world. This reminds me of a couple I met several years ago, both accountants but big fans of Carl Jung. From afar they looked like any other couple, but it didn't take much to detect their serious marital difficulties. Since their interest in Jungian psychology was real, our encounters were very pleasant. Until one day, when after having dinner together, they started triangulating me and I had to walk away. Their procedure was simple: he complained about a misunderstanding between the two of them and requested my opinion. Although my answers were always as vague as possible, the wife became angry and the husband allied with her. This way I was transformed into the scapegoat and they felt united for a couple of hours. Since this was a new friendship, its loss was not significant for me; although I have to admit that I didn't need another loss in my life. After each loss we have to start over, so it’s preferably to be careful and avoid falling into the voracious nets of those who need others to unload their anger at life.