“A mother is her son’s first true love; a son is his mother’s last true love.” Denzel Washington being interviewed by Stephen Colbert. 12/16/21)

 

When I heard Denzel Washington, one of my favorite actors, talk about his mother in this way, I felt that he had explained in very simple words the complex nature of a mother/son relationship. The subject came up because the actor's mother had died recently at the age of 97. Then Colbert pulled out of the drawer a photo of Denzel with his wife on one side and his mother on the other side while at the 1990 Academy Awards. Not surprisingly, the picture of his mother brought tears to his eyes; the actor could not help but sob while he talked about her. I do not know if these beautiful words are the work of Denzel Washington or somebody else; what I know is that they perfectly describe what mothers feel for their adult sons. I do not mean to say that daughters are less important; what I mean is that, being a man, the son provides his mother with the male protection that all of us women long for. That is why when we go through divorce or widowhood, our sons become the refuge that no one else in the world can provide. That is the last true love Denzel Washington was talking about.

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"Una madre es el primer amor verdadero de su hijo; un hijo es el último amor verdadero de su madre".

 Denzel Washington siendo entrevistado por Stephen Colbert. 12/16/21)

 Cuando escuché a Denzel Washington, uno de mis actores favoritos, hablar de su madre de esta manera, sentí que había explicado en palabras muy simples la naturaleza compleja de la relación madre/hijo. El tema surgió porque la madre del actor había muerto recientemente a la edad de 97 años. Luego Colbert sacó del cajón una foto de Denzel con su esposa de un lado y su madre del otro mientras los tres se hallaban en la ceremonia de los Oscars de 1990. No es de sorprenderse que la imagen de su madre le hiciera llorar; el actor no pudo evitar sollozar mientras hablaba de ella. No sé si estas hermosas palabras son obra de Denzel Washington o de algún otro; lo que sé es que describen perfectamente lo que las madres sienten por sus hijos adultos. No quiero decir que las hijas sean menos importantes; lo que quiero decir es que, siendo hombre, el hijo proporciona a su madre la protección masculina que todas las mujeres anhelamos. Es por eso que cuando pasamos por el divorcio o la viudez, nuestros hijos se convierten en el refugio que nadie más en el mundo puede proporcionar. Ese es el último amor verdadero del que Denzel Washington estaba hablando.

 

 

“Governor DeSantis signed a bill to eliminate permanent alimony in Florida.” USA Today Network, Florida. 7/3/23

There is no doubt that Florida's governor Ron De Santis is trying to curry favor with mostly male voters. He will probably not have the same luck with female voters of a certain age, who preferred to invest their time in responsible parenting instead of becoming CEOs of large companies. I agree that some of those who pay permanent alimony have probably already reached an advanced age and are fed up with pouring money into a lost cause. However, if you belong to the class of human beings who understood that life only has meaning if it is lived ethically and respectfully, there are ways to solve this problem so that both ex-spouses feel good about themselves. Let us not forget that if the spouse who pays alimony refuses to help his/her ex-partner, he/she is unjustly forcing his/her children to take care of an older or retired parent. As in all critical circumstances, I believe this crisis gives us the opportunity to make important life changes. For instance, meeting with our ex-spouse, apologizing, if need be, making peace and trying to redeem what was significant in a marriage that lasted many years will help us reach a fair agreement for both. Regarding the alimony amount, it is not written in stone; there is always the possibility to make it more affordable.