CAN WE BE GOOD PSYCHOTHERAPISTS BEFORE WE REACH 60?

 

Several years ago, I was working at a now-defunct psychiatric hospital as one of the outpatient clinics director, and on one occasion I was asked by a group leader to make a presentation about divorce. After receiving the request, I remember feeling uncomfortable; not only for not being a good speaker, but also the subject of divorce had never interested me. At that time, I was young and the possibility of divorcing had never crossed my mind. To be more exact, the only idea of getting divorced filled me with anxiety and a deep fear of the unknown. Since making presentations was in my job description, I had no option but starting to prepare for it, and then pray that all went well. Because of my dislike of the topic, the task of writing and talking about it was a nightmare; needless to say, the nightmare did not end until the whole event was over. Furthermore, the presentation did not go well because, although I was able to talk about the different theories clearly and professionally, what I was lacking was the empathy that only comes with having gone through the extremely painful journey of breaking up a family. Was it Aristotle who stated that we only learn through experience? One thing is to learn with our brain, and another very different is to learn with our heart. In fact, experience is what now has made me an expert divorce psychotherapist; the book I wrote on divorce can attest to it. The same can be said about all our difficult life events; to really understand them and be able to help others we need to have lived them. That is why whenever I remember that divorce presentation of so long ago, I feel tempted to go back and do it all over again.