KNOW YOURSELF. LIFE WILL BE BETTER.

 The famous Delphic maxim, Know Thyself, spread by Socrates and later by Plato in his writings, is also found in earlier philosophers. In the same way, we also notice it in philosophers of the modern era, and in Freud's theories of the unconscious. Although its syntax seems easy to understand, if we try to explain what this aphorism means, many of us will find the task difficult. Knowing oneself in depth is not an easy journey, especially because we do not really know what it is that we must know better. Since we tend to hide all that we dislike about ourselves in our unconscious, we are also inclined to concentrate on what is easy to detect. However, if we live our life with our intimate eyes closed, our relationships with the rest of the world will not last long. Many years ago, when I was much younger and knew almost nothing about psychology, I fell in love with a guy who, in one of our first intimate conversations, confessed that his mother was a hateful human being. Although his words surprised me, I did not really give it too much thought, probably because I did not know how deeply his negative maternal feelings were going to affect me. As a matter of fact, I did not have to wait long before my boyfriend began to project the anger he felt towards his mother onto me. His antagonism towards her was so deeply rooted that he needed to get rid of it and free himself one way or the other; and, for many reasons, I was the perfect receptacle. Although in the beginning I did not understand why our relationship had changed so much in only a few months, I then was able to realize that his aggressive behavior had nothing to do with me; he was not dealing with me but with his mother. Our relationship did not last because his constant need to belittle me (i.e. his mother figure) became intolerable. If my partner had decided to get in touch with his maternal feelings honestly, he would have understood that not only he thought his mother was a hateful human being, but also that he deeply hated her. Giving a deep look inside himself would have undoubtedly eliminated his need to project his maternal aversion on our relationship, and we would have shared a beautiful life encounter.

LA VERDADERA REALIDAD SOLO SE DIVISA CON LOS OJOS DEL ALMA

 

Ese día Clara no se había sentido bien como a diario. Si bien sus días se desarrollaban serenos como de costumbre, se había vuelto más aguda la nostalgia de sus recuerdos jóvenes, de su ciudad lejana con sus veredas arboladas y sus edificios estilo francés. Pero sobre todo lo que le empañaba la mirada a veces era el recuerdo de sus compatriotas, gente que aun sin conocerse simpatizaban y nunca dudaban en dar rienda suelta a una broma. ¿Cuántas veces no le había ocurrido sentarse en una confitería a tomar un café y terminar charlando con la gente de la mesa de al lado? Adonde ella había emigrado, eso no ocurría; las fronteras entre todos eran más complejas. Para distraerse de su melancolía, Clara decidió ir al mercado a hacer la compra semanal. Si bien era un día feriado y soleado, por alguna razón ella prefirió no ir a la playa. Sentarse frente al mar y recordar no era lo que le convenía. Terminada la compra y al salir del supermercado, Clara se dirigió hacia su coche ahí estacionado. Al sacar las llaves para abrir las puertas del vehículo, Clara escuchó una voz proveniente del coche de al lado. Levantó la vista y divisó una mujer de pelo negro largo hablando por teléfono en español. Que hablara castellano no era lo que la sorprendió; lo que la dejó atónita fue el acento de la desconocida. Fue entonces que después de cargar la comida en el coche y sentarse al volante, Clara bajó la ventanilla y dirigiéndose a la desconocida le preguntó: “¿Sos argentina?” La mujer contestó que sí, asombrada, pero con una amplia sonrisa; una sonrisa de las que Clara extrañaba y hacía tiempo no veía. Después de ambas confesarse mutuamente lo mucho que deseaban conocer a  otros argentinos, las mujeres intercambiaron teléfonos prometiendo verse pronto. Mientras manejaba, Clara sonrió al darse cuenta de porqué había decidido no ir a la playa ese día.

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Esta historia es verdadera; energía y karma se unen para dirigir nuestras vidas. Si la energía es positiva, el karma también lo será.

LO QUE EL MAR NOS REGALA

 Marina Oppenheimer

Marina Oppenheimer

Licensed psychotherapist

February 5, 2025

Lo que el mar nos regala, lo que a mí me donó

en los años aquellos que empezaban y no terminaban,

en aquellas noches de luz oscura que no acababan,

en los pensamientos de color triste que me acosaban.

Lo que el mar me regaló en aquellas horas marchitas,

en esos instantes de soledad que se acumulaban,

en los recuerdos que me castigaban uno tras otro,

y en las diarias caminatas sobre la arena salada.

Lo que el mar me dio tiene nombres marinos,

olas de espuma que se rinden, vientos que amainan,

ancho mar que con tus aguas transparentes y frías

me enseñaste a tolerar los males. Te estoy agradecida

THERE IS AN ANGEL AT EVERY CORNER

 From my book CUENTOS DEL MÁS ACÁ Y DEL MÁS ALLÁ  (Amazon)

It was in 2007 when I was about to move to Miami Beach after selling the house in Coral Gables where my ex-husband, my son and I had lived for many years. That year, the Portability Act had come out in Florida, allowing owners who moved to a new home to continue paying the same taxes of their sold residence and avoid paying the higher taxes of their new house. The news filled me with joy because since we had bought that house at a low price, its property taxes were also low; above all, the new law diminished my financial concerns as a divorced woman. Still, things were not as simple as I thought. When I went to sign the sale contract of my house, the buyer's lawyer pointed out to me that my name on the house deed was incorrect; they had written María instead of Marina. Although I am quite obsessive with forms and documents, for some reason I had never found the time to redo the deed when I should have. However, that day I had taken with me the deed of sale of our previous house in which my name was correct, and fortunately that was enough to convince him that I was the same person in both deeds. Still, the Portability Act procedure was of a different kind. The employee who assisted me showed right away that she had no intention of being flexible or understanding. Without further ado, she made it clear to me that the wrong name was going to make it impossible for me to be approved for my new apartment’s Portability. In that case I would have had to sell the apartment I had just bought as its property taxes were too high for me to assume. Finally, showing some human compassion, the woman suggested that I go to the Public Records Office to have the name Maria changed to Marina on the sold house deed and thus prove that it was mine. There I went without wasting time and full of hope. However, while the treatment at the Registry was much more respectful, the response of the employee who assisted me was similar: although she believed my story was true, she could not do anything to help me. Without saying a word, I gathered all my papers and quickly walked out the door to hide my tears. I had to walk a block before turning the corner to the right to reach my car’s parking lot. I was walking fast because I wanted to avoid other people’s gaze, so after ten minutes I was almost at the end of the block. It was at that moment that I heard a voice shouting, "Ma'am... Ma’am." As I turned around, I saw the woman I had just spoken to running towards me. I stopped and walked towards her. "We have decided to accommodate your request," she told me, smiling. Had she come one minute later, I would have turned around the corner and disappeared into the crowd.

25 de diciembre, 2024

Estoy acá, en mi casa, a solas.

Acaba de terminar la Navidad

y yo siento que lo que me rodea

sabe a Nochebuena, a caminos de arena,

a ese aire limpio de la madrugada

cuando las aves con su aleteo nos llaman.

Y es porque en este año de mi vida

junto las manos para poder recoger

lo que he sembrado durante mi estadía

en este mundo: un amor que perdura

de un hijo que me llena de ternura,

de un nieto cuyos ojos me estremecen,

y su madre cuyos cuidados me enternecen.

Y así le cierro la puerta a este día navideño,

y con la paz en mi alma me entrego a un dulce sueño.

CAN SOME BRAIN ILLNESSES BE PSYCHOSOMATIC?

 According to today’s neuroscientific theories, the outer layer of our brain, or cerebral cortex, becomes thinner as we age; especially the prefrontal cortex, the cerebellum, and the hippocampus. This explains why, when we are older, mental functions such as memory start malfunctioning. It is worth mentioning that a debilitated memory is not necessarily the result of incipient dementia, but simply the memory of a weak brain. So much so that specialists recommend exercising and eating a healthy diet; but above all they recommend a regular social life for memory to improve. I started reading this article a while ago because I had realized that, when I was having a conversation, I had a hard time finding the right word for a sentence. Furthermore, I was unable to recognize some words that came to mind, although them being correct. To be honest, knowing that this was one of the ills of old age did not comfort me at all. Let me add that at that time I was going through a difficult life phase due to all those things that suddenly overwhelm us when we are not young anymore. Like for instance, realizing that the end of our life is not too far away, and that when we leave this world, we will never see our loved ones again. These thoughts are so powerful that they end up making our daily life seem meaningless and absurd. Luckily, as Heraclitus used to teach, nothing lasts, everything changes. That is why those dark times slowly faded away, and my life went back to being once again peaceful and interesting. It was because of that serenity that all those words that I had desperately searched for when being in the company of others suddenly reappeared. Exercises or healthy diets were not at all necessary; like in many other illnesses, by simply stripping the brain of unsettling thoughts and accepting what is, the brain healed and memory returned.

ES LO QUE ES

 Ante la avalancha de años que se nos vienen encima en Estados Unidos, esta tarde me detuve a pensar y tratar de descubrir cuál sería la mejor manera de enfrentarlos. Cuatro años son largos, especialmente a la edad que ya tengo, a pesar de haberla alcanzado en perfecta salud física y mental. Si, como dice Baruch Spinoza, la situación que nos enfrenta es el efecto de una causa que a su vez tiene otra causa y que esta también es el efecto de otra causa y así hasta el infinito de los años, no me queda más remedio que aceptarla. La mejor manera de definirla sería que “es lo que es”; y el describir lo que ocurre de esta manera me da la pauta de que no está en mis manos cambiarlo. “Yo soy yo y mi circunstancia” dice Ortega y Gasset; nuestra libertad es de hecho limitada. Hoy se trata de un evento que me preocupa y me quita la alegría que en general siento al pasear con mi perro a la mañana temprano por la orilla del mar. Yo sé que las dos guerras mundiales fueron mucho peores que lo que yo enfrento en este momento; pero así y todo necesito saber cómo hacerle frente a este nuevo desafío de la vida. Si bien es cierto que mis opciones no son muchas, hay algo que no hace mucho se me 

hizo presente; y es que lo único que en realidad importa es cómo yo actué, y no lo que los demás terminaron haciendo. En otras palabras, solo soy responsable de mi conducta, no de la ajena. Pero esto no es todo; si lo que ahora ocurre es la causa de un efecto que en algún momento llegará a ser realidad, solo me queda dejar que el universo siga su curso.