THERE IS NO PLACE IN PSYCHOLOGY FOR IMPROVISATIONS

 The other day while I was looking for a movie to watch and not finding it, I ended up watching a televised show. The person who ran the show was supposed to provide spiritual guidance to a guest from the audience. On that particular occasion the guest was a woman who had lost her job, had a daughter who had been diagnosed with a severe mental illness, and her unemployment benefits were about to expire. In a few words, should she not find a new job soon she would lose her home and end up living with her daughter in her car. The woman was visibly distraught, and after sharing her story with the audience I wondered what the answer from the host would be. By looking at him I could tell right away that he was totally lost and did not know what to say. Looking studiously at his guest he came up with the following answer: “Let’s look at things from another perspective. Do you think you could look at this situation from the point of view of gratitude?” To say that I was flabbergasted at his reaction is to put it mildly. I know that there is currently a trend about the philosophy of gratitude that I consider very useful because it helps us appreciate what we have that others, especially poorer countries, don’t. This does not mean however that we can give the word gratitude a connotation that it does not have. Gratitude from the Latin gratia means to be thankful, which in this particular case 
was not humanly possible. When seeing her desperate gaze I felt deep compassion for this woman who had come to share such a difficult life burden with someone who did not have the skills to help her.  Let’s remember that since we are not born with skills, they need to be acquired through study and much reading. Unfortunately, unlike many other professions, some people think that psychology is easy to improvise. They probably don’t know what a deep knowledge of human nature they need to have in order to help another human being out of misery. Making use of beautiful-sounding spiritual sayings is definitely not enough. It is also not enough to sit on an elegant chair in front of a TV camera and act as a guru. Had the host being skilled in counseling, this would have been his immediate answer: “What you have been doing until today to find a job has not worked; what about if you try another approach until you find what is there waiting for you.”

OUR LIFE: A JOURNEY WITH NO REFUGES

 

I have always liked houses; to me they spell a very special kind of mystery. The reason why I did not think of studying architecture when I was eighteen is probably due to the fact that math was not my forte. Still, whenever I go by a house that appeals to me, I make the point of slowing the car and observe its design. Houses have always been for me the symbol of a refuge; some kind of secret garden where to feel protected from the confusion and misunderstandings of life. Therefore, each time I was able to own one I always did my best to make its interior feel like a welcoming cabin the me dark night. Today that I am forced to be inside my apartment for many hours a day, I look at these four walls and feel that in the vastness of the universe this is a place I can call my refuge. But is it? Is life something that becomes more peaceful after we close the door of our house and make ourselves comfortable? Why is then that, sometimes, when I sit on my balcony with the usual glass of white wine, I feel a strange feeling of aloneness and nostalgia for days past? Is it because I have still not learned the lessons sent my way by life, or is it because I still have to understand that life is an unending journey till the end with no stops in the way? I know that, should I have the option, I wouldn’t go back one day in my life; the lessons were many and difficult, but priceless. I now can grasp the meaning of our stay on this earth more simply: the adversity I encountered was there only to make me understand that life is a journey with no stops and no shelters; our only refuge lies in our soul.